Wednesday, February 13, 2013

HAPPY HOME LIFE Sex Education in Urdu

Khushgawar shadi denvi jannaat hai aur naa khushgawar jahanum. Khushgawar aur kamiyab shadi immune system ko strong karti hai. Jiski wajah sey insan bemariyun ka behtar tor per muqabla kar sakta hai. Isey general health behtar aur umar lambi hoti hai. Naa khushgawar shadi demaghi system ko kamzor karti hai jiski wajah sey insan 35% bemariyun ka ziyada shikar hota hai. General health kharab hoti hai, umar 4 year lisss hojaati hai. Naa khushgawar shadi stress, tension, Depression, anxiety, heart diseases, high BP, suicide, pagalpan aur bohut si doosri bemariyun ka sabab banti hai. Naa khushgawar shadi naa sirf mian biwi bul kay bachun ko bhi buri tarhan muta'assir karti hai. Bachey aggression aur doosri physical aur nafsiyaati bemariyun ka shikar honay kay elawa education mein bohut peechey reh jatey hain. Isi liye mahireen ka khayal hai kay "pur sukoon divorce, kharab aur naa khushgawar shadi sey behtar hai". Khushgawar zindagi kay chath usul hain. Agar en per amal kiya jaey to inshaAllah ghar jannaat ban jaeyga. Kyun kay yeh book mardon kay hawaley sey likhi gai hai lehaza ab ham kuch aisey tareeqey baateingai jin ki madadsey mard ghar ko khush gawar banaanay mein apnaa effective kirdar ada kar sakayga. Waisey bhi khushgawar gharelu zindagi mein mian ka role ahem aur bunyadi hai.

TIP OF HAPPY HOME LIFE

Shadi kabhi khud bakhud khushgawar nahi banaey gi. Iss kay liye aapko shaori koshish aur planning karni hogi. Aap aj sey tai karleyn kay aap nay ghar ko jannat ka namoona banana hai, phir iss kay liye bharpoor koshish karian, InshaAlllah apka ghar jannat ka tokra ban jaeyga.Ek baat zehen mein rakhein kay aap ki biwi apki photocopy nahi hai bul kay woh aap sey mukhtalif hai. Iss ki pasand naa pasand aur hobbies aap sey mukhtalif hongi. Iss sey yeh tawaqqa naa karein kay woh apki tarhan ho, aap ki tarhan sochey. Iss ko badalney ki koshish naa karein. Iss ko isi tarhan qubool karlein.Duniya mein koi insan bhi complete nahi. Aap bhi mukammal nahi. Apki biwi mein 10 khamiyan hungi to 10 khoobiya bhi hungi. Aap jis sey shadi karein gey woh mukammal naa hogi. Iss mein bhi zaror koi naa koi kami hogi. Lehaza apni biwi ko bataein kay apney isey khushi kay saath qubul kar liye hai.Har insan khoobiyun aur khamiyun ka combination hota hai. Agar issmein 5 khamiyan hain to 5 khoobiyan bhi zaroori hoti hain. Aap ki biwi bhi khamiyun aur khoobiyun ka majmoa hai. Aap iss ki khamiyu kay bajaey iss ki khoobiyun per naazar rakhain. Iss ki khoobiyan talash karein chahey woh kitni hi mamoli kyun naa ho.Apni biwi ki khoobiyan ko attractive banay isskay liye yeh mushq mufeed rahaigi.

KHUSGAWAR ZINDAGI KAY RAAZ

1. PEHLA TAREEQA:

  • Kisi pursukoon jagah beth jaeyn. Leyt bhi saktey hain. Eye band karleyn. 5 Lambai sans leyn.
  • Biwi ki khoobiyun kay barai mein sochain, aap kay demagh mein en khoobiyun kay saath biwi ki picture ban jaeygi. Iss picture ko dekh kar aapko acha mehsoos hoga.
  • Ab picture ko rangeeb karein, ziyada clear karein, roshan kardein, big aur kareeb ley ain, apkay achai ehsaasat mein ezafa hoga.

2. DUSRA TREEQA:

  • Aram sey kisi jagah beth jaeyn. Body ko relax karian. Eyes band karein, lambai sans leyn.
  • Iss ki kisi aisi adat kay barai mein sochain jo aapko bohut disturb karti hai. Aap kay demagh mein isski picture ban jaeygi.
  • Ab aap apney aapko picture mein lamba karein. Jaisey jaeysa aap ooper jaeyngai woh picture apsey door hoti jaeygi. Dull aur unclear hojaeygi aur aap ko ziyada disturb nahi kareygi.
  • Ab apney aap ko mazeed lamba karleyn. Ab woh picture bilkul hi duur aur unclear hojaeygi. Mumkin hai kay aapko dot maloom ho. Ab woh aapko bilkul disturb nahi kareygi. Thori der iss ko dekhtey rahein. Ab aap ki nazron mein iss ki ahmiyat khatam ya bohut kam ho jaey gi. Yani paharr raee ban jaey ga.
  • Ab doobara biwi ki iss adat kay barey mein sochein. Ab iss ki woh aadat aap ko disturb nahi karey gi. InshaAllah aa'enda zindagi mein biwi ka yeh rawaiyya aap ko disturb nahi karey ga.Agli mushq bhi isi kam kay liye useful hai.

3. TEESRA TAREEQA:

  • Eyes band kar kay aaram sey beth jaein. 3 lambey saans leyn. Nose sey leyn aur mouth sey kharij karein.
  • Biwi ki naa pasandeeda adat kay barai mein sochain. Apkay mind mein iss ki picture ban jaeygi. Picture ko ghoor sey dekhain aur apney naa pasandeeda ehsaasat ko note karein. Zahir hai kay aapko bohut bura lag raha hoga.
  • Ab iss picture ko black and white kardein. Unclear aur dim kardein. Chota kardein, door ley jaeyn. Picture ki jagah badal dein. Agar yeh picture bilkul apkay saamney ban rahey hai to issko bae'in (left) dae'in (right) yeh ooper neechey ley ja kar dekhain yahan tak kay burai ehsaasat khatam hojaeyn yeh bohut kam hojaey. Iss mushq ko 2 times karein. Ab biwi ki woh adat aapko pahli ki tarhan disturb nahi kareygi.
  • Insan fitri tor per chata hai kay iss ki tareef ho. Lehaza biwi ki tareef karein. Khas tor per logon kay samney iss ki khoobiyun ka zikar karein. Logon kay saamney tareef karna 3 time ziyada effective hota hai. Yeh tareef apki biwi ko bah pannah khushi dey gi. Iss kay badley mein woh bhi aapko khushi deynay ki koshish kareygi.
  • Mian biwi paper per ek doosrey ki khususiyat likhain maslan "mujhey apka dhema pan pasand hai". "Aap mera bohut khayal rakhti hain". Phir paper change karleyn. Isey apkay ta'alluqat mein khushgawar tabdeli ajaeygi.
  • Khushgawar zindagi ki buniyad gahri dosti aur mushtarka hobby hai. Aap apni biwi ki dilchaspiyun sey lutfandoz hun chahey woh apsey mukhtalif hun.
  • Ham dosrai logon ko ezzat-o-ahtram deytai hain. Aap ki biwi iss cheez ki ziyada haqdar hai kay aap isey ezat aur ahtram dein khas tor per bachun aur logon kay saamney, biwi ki rai ka ahtram karein woh apka ahtram kareygi.
  • Biwi ko importance dein ghar kay mamlat mein iss sey mashwara karein. Har insan ko importance milnay sey khushi aur sukoon milta hai. Yeh khushi aur sukoon ghar ko bhi khushgawar aur pursukoon banaa deta hai.
  • Har insan khas tor per khawateen tareef ko pasand karti hain. Biwi ki tareef karein isskay lebaz, shakal surat, jism, kisi khas organ ki tareef karein. Iss ko baatein kay woh bohut khoobsorat hai. Har aurat ki koi naa koi cheez zaror khoobsurat hoti hai maslan baal, eyes, skin, drisss etc. Rozanaa kam az kam 3 times zoror biwi ki tareef karein, logon kay saamney tareef karna 3 times ziyada effective hota hai.
  • Biwi kay kamo aur khidmat jo woh ghar kay liye anjam dey rahi hain enka aitraf karein aur inki tareef karein. Isey koi acha kam kartey dekhain aur phir isski khoob dil khool kar tareef karein. Aa'enda woh mazeed achai kam kareygi. Isey baatein kay isski wajah sey ghar ka system shandaar tareeqey sey chal raha hai. Aur ghar jannat ka namoona hai.
  • Biwi ko kabhi kabhi surprise dein. Issko achanaak khanaa, yeh ghumnay kay liye bahir ley jaeyn. Iss sey iss ko bey panah khushi miley gi. Yeh khushi poorey ghar ko effect karey gi.
  • Biwi kay saath mahmanoo jaeysa sulook karein. Agar mahmaan apkayyeha umbraella bhool jaeyn to aap kabhi mahmaan per negaative comments nahi karein gey. Iss tarhan woh carpet kharab kardey (tea gradey) to apka behaviour kaysa hoga. Zahir hai kay aap kahein gey kay koi baat nahi. Biwi iss behaviour ki ziyada haqdaar hai.
  • Biwi ko biwi samajhnay kay sath sath aap yeh bhi sochain kay woh apkay bachun ki maa hai. Aap apni biwi kay saath kis kisim ka sulook pasand karein gey. Wohi sulook apney bachun ki maa kay saath karein. Iss sey ghar ka mahool bohut pursukoon hoga.
  • Biwi kay saath wohi behaviour karein jo aap apney saath chaatey hain. Hadees hai kay "Banda iss waqt tak momin nahi ho sakta jab tak woh apney bhai kay liye woh pasand naa karein jo woh apney liye pasand karey". (Bukhari, Muslim).
  • Aurat, aurat sey hasad karti hai. Biwi kay saamney doosri aurton ka zikar naa karein. Inki tareef naa karein. Biwi ka doosri aurton, khas tor per apni maa aur sister kay saath comparrision naa karein.
  • Apney susral walon ki ezzat aur ehtram karein. Apney saas susar ko wohi maqam dein jo apney parents ko deytai hain. Hadees hai kay "Mard kay 3 baap hotey hai ek woh jisnay isey paida kara, doosra woh jisnay isey taleem di, teesra jisnay isey beti de". Susrali rishtaidaron sey acha sulook karkay aap apni biwi ka dil jeet leyngai. Phir woh bhi apkay relaative kay saath behtar aura cha sulook kareygi.
  • Biwi per tanqeed naa karein. Sakt nukta cheni naa karein. Khas tor per bachun aur doosrey logon kay saamney hargiz tanqeed naa karein. Har tanqeed nuqsan deh hoti hai chahey woh tameeri hi kyun naa ho. Tanqeed sey kuch hasil nahi hota. Agar tanqeed karna bohut zaroori hai to tanqeed sey pehley iss ki 3 cheezon ki tareef karein phir sukoon kay saath tanqeed karein. Tanqeed hamesha alaehdgi mein ki jaey. Iss kay bajaey isskay kam per tanqeed karein.
  • ALLAH ke nabi Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H.) ne kisi bhi insan ki toheen tazheek karne, lanaat malamat karne aur mazaq urane sey sakhti sey manaa farmaya hai, biwi iss cheez ki zada haqdaar hai ke isski toheen naa ki jaye.
  • Biwi ki gheebaat naa karein. Yeh bohut bara gunah hai. Apne murdah bhai ka gosht khaney kay baraber hai. Khas tor par apne parents kay saamney biwi ki burai naa karein. Iss ke khilaf baat naa sunayn bulkey uss ko defend karein. Yeh nayki hai.
  • Biwi ki khamiyan talash naa karein. Allah aur uske Rasool Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H.) ne iss sey sakhti sey manaa kiya hai. Har insan mein khamiyan mojood hoti hain, aap bhi khamiyon sey paak nahi.
  • Biwi sey shikayat karein, us ko ilzam naa dein. Shikayat bhi aleydgi mein karein. Biwi kw bajaey iss ke kam par tanqeed karein. Maslan agar salan kharab tha to us ko baatein kay aj salan pehle ki tarah acha nahi tha, yeh naa kahen ke tumhain khana pakana hi nahi aata. Kam par tanqeed karte waqt lehja soft rakhen. Baat start karne sey pahle ek lamba sans len phir sukoon sey baat karein. Shikayat aur apne jazbaat ka izhar karne ke liye "aap" aur "mein" ka word use karein. "Aap hamissha late ate hain" ke bajaey yeh kahen kay "Jab aap zara late ate hain to mein pareshan aur fikarmand ho jata hun. Iss sentence mein tanqeed nahi hai.
  • Duniya mein har insan sey ghulltiyan hoti hain. Aap ki biwi sey bhi hungi aur aap sey bhi. Biwi ko isski ghulltiyon par issharatan mutawaja karein.
  • Biwi kay character par shak naa karein. Yeh gunah hai, haan, agar yeh proof ho jaye kay isska character kharab hai to phir suitable karwai karein. Apnaa character bhi theek rakhen.
  • Biwi sey yeh expect naa karein ke woh aap ke mind ko read kar legi, aap ke jazbaat ko jaan legi. Maslan issko pata chull jayega ke aap ki tabiyat kissi hai? Aap kiya chahte hain? lihaza issko khul kar baatein, izhaar karein, baat karein. Baat bilkul clear aur direct ho. 
  • Har insan chahta hai kay isski mistakiss par issko maaf kar diya jaye. Maaf karna sunnaat hai. Allah ko pasand hai. Quran mein irshad hai: "Logon ko maaf karo takay mein tumhen maaf karon" lihaza sunnaat par amal karte howe apne liye apni biwi ko maaf kar den takay Allah aap par rehem karey.
  • Islam mein sakht naafarmani par biwi ko marne ki ejazat hai magar mu'nh par marne sey sakhti sey manaa kiya gaya hai. Marne ke liye bahane naa dhundne sey bhi sakhti sey manaa kiya gaya hai.
  • Biwi kay hawaley sey apnaa ghussa collect naa karein. Yeh aap ki health ko effect karega. Aleydgi mein biwi sey apne ghussey ka izhar karein. Iss waqt tak baat naa karein jab tak aap pursukoon naa ho jayen. Agar woh mazrat kar le to qubool karlen. Allah kay nabi Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H.) ne mazrat qubool naa karne sey sakhti sey manaa kiya hai. Darguzar sey kam len. Ghussa khatam karne ke liye biwi ko ghssey sey bhara ek letter likhen, jo kehnaa chahte hain, kahain, issko ek bar read karlen aur phir phar kar phaink den. Letter biwi ko naa dein. Aap pursukoon ho jayege. Behtar yeh hai kay ghussey ka directly izhaar naa karein. Iss sey aap ke relaations improve hunge. Aap iss Tareeqey sey bhi ghussa nikal kar relax ho sakte hain.

4. CHOUTHA TAREEQA:

Aram sey kisi jagah beth jaeyn. 10 mints mein ek ghussey sey bhara letter likayn. Iss mein woh sab baatein likhen jo aap kehnaa chahte hain (letter biwi ko denaa nahi hai).Phir biwi ki taraf sey 3 minutes mein letter ka reply karein. Jis mein mian ka apne jazbaat ke izhar ka shukriya ada kiya jaye. Biwi naa sirf apni ghalti maan le bul kay mazrat bhi karey.Ab 2 minute kay ander iss letter ka jawab likhen jis mein aap likhen ke aap ne biwi ko maaf kar diya hai. Jisse hi yeh warzish complete hogi. aap relax ho jayege.Ghussey ke jazbaat ko bhi iss warzish sey control kiya ja sakta hai.Aram sey kisi jagah beth jaeyn. Leyt bhi sakte hain. Eyes close karlen. Boby ko relax karein. 3 deep breaths len.Ab imagination mein biwi kay upar sara ghussa utar den. Jo kehnaa chahte hain, kahen. Jo kuch karna chahte hain karein. Koi aap ko rokne wala ya us ko bachane wala nahi. Yehan tak ke aap chilla bhi sakte hain. Iss sorat mein aap room mein akele hun. Aap jald hi relax ho jayege.Mian biwi mein kabhi naa kabhi to takar aur larai ho jaati hai. Aisi surat mein larai ke bech mein gap karlen. Topic change kar den. Behtar hai ke larai ki jaga sey dur chulle jaen. Larte waqt hamesha haal mein rahen. Mazi ki baaton ko naee larai mein shamil naa karein. Yeh naa kahen ke uss ney past mein yeh baat kahi thi ya ki thi.Duniya mein har insan sey ghalti hoti hai. Agar aap sey ghalti ho jaye to ghalti maan len. Sirf brave log hi ghalti mante hain. Brave banayn, ghalti ke aiteraf sey naa sirf ghar ka mahol behtar hota hai bul kay dosron kay dil mein aap ke liye izat-o-ahteram mein izafa hota hai.Biwi ke liye iss tarah kay words "hamissha ya kabhi nahi" kabhi use naa karein. Yeh hullaat ko kharab karte hain. Maslan agar biwi ne ek din shoiss polish nahi kiye to yeh naa kahen ke aap kabhi shoiss polish nahi karten. Ya aap khanaa hamissha deyr sey deti hain.Biwi ki burai naa karein. Khas tor par logon ke saamney us ko bura naa kahen. Bura kehne ke bajaey yeh dekhain ke jo kuch ho raha hai iss ke reasons kiya hain phir en ko control karein.Biwi ko bar bar acha kahen. Iss ki mamooli achi baat ki bhi tareef karein. Acha kah kar issko acha bannay ka moqa den. Kisi ko bura keh kar aap iss ke acha banay kay doors band kar dete hain. Biwi ko wesa hi samajh kar sulook karein jissa aap chahte hain ke woh ho. Woh waisi hi ho jayegi.Biwi ki khamiyun ko khobiyun mein badal kar bayan karein. Maslan us ko budhu ya bewaqoof kehnay ke bajaey bholi aur sedhi kahain.Ek dosre se dor jane kay bajaey ek dosre ke qareeb aen. Ek dosre ki sohbaat sey lutfandoz hun. Daily kuch hours mil kar kaam karen. Newspaper ek saath parhen. News par ek dosre ki pasand kay comments karen. Tv ek saath dekhain. Walk aur Shopping mil kar karein. Common hobby sey donon mil kar enjoy karein. Ek research sey maloom hua hai kay kamiyab aur khushgawar shadi (successful marriage life) mein mian biwi ek doosrey kay barey mein ziyada knowledge rakhtey hain. Ek doosrey ki pasand naa-pasand jantey hain. Aap ko pata ho kay aap ki biwi ki hobby kya hai. Iss ko kya cheez pasand hai. Iss ki friends kon si hain. Iss ki birthday kab hai. Shadi (marriage) ke initial days mein hi ek dosre ko achi tarah jaan len. Jitnaa aap ek dosre ko ziyada janay ge itne hi relationship strong aur deep hongey. Yeh knowledge hasil karney kay liye biwi sey sawal karein.Shadi (marriage) ki base mohabbat hai. Biwi sey naa sirf mohabbat karein bul kay iss ka zaban sey izhar bhi karein. Daily kam sey kam 3 times mohabbat ka izhar karein. Iss ko phone kar kay bataein kay aap iss sey mohabbat kartey hain. Biwi kay pasandeeda tareeqey sey izhar-e-mohabbat karein. Yeh cheez biwi ko mubashrat (intercourse) sey bhi ziyada pasand hai. Iss ko touch karein, kiss karein, hug karein, haath pakrain aur iss ki neck par massage karein. Biwi ko mian ki qurbat bohut pasand hai. Mohabbat kaisey ki jaye, iss ke liye yeh warzish karein.

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